When Your Life Doesn't Fit Anymore
Snacking Syndrome
This week’s post is a little more personal. I wanted to take you behind the scenes of my process – where I stumble, question, and come back to center.
The Italian Awakening
While I was in Italy recently, visiting friends, I noticed something rather striking. Italians don’t snack. Of course, I knew this from having an Italian student living with me for a year. He ate meals and nothing in between.
This is the antithesis to the American way of non-stop eating. The desk drawer with a secret stash. The donuts by the coffee machine at the office. The purse with treats lingering at the bottom.
Sometimes it’s snacking… sometimes it’s picking at the food before the meal is ready… The non-stop nibble.
This form of eating never allows your body to clear out… we satiate all the feelings of hunger before they grow. How often do you actually sit down with a ravishing appetite? Not often I would bet!
If I were to think about it, snacking of course has nothing to do with real hunger… It has more to do with boredom or frustration.
Lately, I’ve been snacking more than usual. I hate it—it feels like a lapse in mindfulness and self-discipline.
To get some insight on this change of ways, I consulted my Tarot cards. (Isn’t that where most people turn to get answers to burning questions? Oh no… that would be ChatGPT!!!)
The First Pull
The cards I drew were very interesting and revealing. First, I pulled the King of Cups reversed. This card speaks to unhealthy coping mechanisms to sooth discomfort… (honestly, can you believe I would pull that? Amazing.) It’s identified that grief, stress, and self-doubt are being internalized rather than being expressed. So the cards see my snacking as emotionally soothing rather than what I was thinking as frustration or boredom.
It’s telling me that I am disconnected from what I need emotionally and I am using food to fill the gap.
The Second Pull
The next card I pulled was the 3 of Swords reversed. This signals a healing heart, often after betrayal, disappointment, or emotional wounds (crazy…). This card signified a process of emotional recovery from old pain. (Well, I got that going in spades…)
This card does suggest healing is possible if I allow myself to feel and forgive and not just numb it (with food). Numbing is a lot easier in the present, but in the long term, dealing with these feelings is the better option.
The Third Pull
The third card I pulled was a major arcana card, so looking at my life from a bigger perspective. The card I pulled was the Hierophant. This card speaks to structure, tradition, and spiritual wisdom. It encourages me to return to my regular practices, rituals and communities. This was interesting to me because I’ve been a bit of a slouch recently and have skipped water aerobics, and not been following my practice of intermittent fasting because of new research I’ve read.
In this case, the card might be suggesting a return to supportive rituals— like eating regular meals with Audrey, taking the time to sit down and enjoy the time together. It also encourages me to recommit to my values intentionally.
The Message
The clear message for me is that it’s not about weight gain, it’s about being in alignment with my true self and loving myself enough to care for my vessel.
It also reminded me I’m still healing. I’m emotionally tender and guarding old wounds and food is the comfort of choice. What I need to do is to let go of old pains, reconnect with my true needs and feelings, and ground myself in routines and self-care.
Wow. That was a big lesson for me and I thought I would share it with you. My goal as always is to follow the joy and align with what feels right.
It is a key point not to sit in numb… What does numb look like? For me it’s eating absent-mindedly. For others it could be endless scrolling, buying things you don’t need, excessive working out… all things that give you that drop of dopamine in the instant, but don’t last and leave you craving more.
What part of your life feels out of alignment right now and what might your version of “coming home” look like?
If you are feeling like you would like help in untangling a situation in your life and you would like to consult the Tarot cards, let me know. I would be happy to work with you to help you gain clarity and insight into your situation.