When Tradition Becomes a Burden
Let the Turkey Go!
Where is fear masquerading as structure?
A Small Shift
Some families cling to tradition like it’s a life raft. We did too. Thanksgiving meant pulling out the same stained recipe file, divvying up the same dishes, and performing the same choreography year after year. A ritual more out of muscle memory than meaning.
Then came the warning: stuffing inside the turkey could cause bacteria to grow. A tiny thing, but it cracked the veneer. I fought it — because it wasn’t about stuffing. It was about admitting that even the smallest certainty could fail.
Others didn’t want to risk it. They rebelled. So we cooked the stuffing outside the bird.
Then something startling happened:
We didn’t need the turkey anymore.
A New World of Possibilities
That bird had been symbolic — a centerpiece no one liked, tolerated only because it was “the way things are done.” Once it went, the whole structure started shaking. Two chickens instead. Then, after the divorce, everything blew open.
We went rogue: pork roast, pumpkin gnocchi.
This year? Prime rib.
Next year? Who knows.
The tradition wasn’t evolving.
It was dissolving.
And the truth is: the turkey wasn’t the only thing no one liked. The whole ritual had outlived the version of us that built it.
Creating a New Way
Tradition gave us comfort once. It gave us grounding. But when life changes — marriages ending, families reshaping, identities shifting beneath your feet — the old rituals can become mausoleums. You keep showing up, but you’re visiting ghosts.
So we built a new grounding. Not in dishes, but in people. In food we actually enjoy. In permission. In laughter. In the relief of not forcing ourselves to be who we were ten years ago.
And it made me wonder:
Where else in my life have I been doing things on autopilot?
Where have I mistaken repetition for stability?
Where have I clung to “how it’s always been done” because I was afraid of what change would uncover?
I saw it in my water aerobics classes: a routine I kept because deviation felt dangerous. What if I forgot a step? What if I didn’t finish in time? What if it wasn’t good enough?
Fear masquerading as structure.
But once I broke the pattern, everything loosened. There was energy. Flow. Fun. Not amusement-park fun — the quiet fun of realizing you’re allowed to reinvent the shape of your day.
That’s the deeper invitation here.
Not “try a new recipe.”
Not “pivot for a fresh perspective.”
It’s this:
Stop worshipping the things that no longer feed you.
Traditions are only sacred when they are alive.
When they become embalmed, it’s okay — necessary — to walk away.
As we close out 2025 and walk toward 2026, ask yourself:
What are you clinging to because it once made sense?
What would happen if you put even one old ritual down and let your actual life choose a new one?
Change doesn’t require a crisis.
Sometimes it starts with the simple realization:
No one likes the turkey.
Much love,
Alicia
Tarot Pull
The Hierophant
This card fell out of the deck as I was shuffling for this blog post. It’s so perfect because it’s all about tradition. The Hierophant is the keeper of structure, rituals, inherited wisdom, and the rules we are told to obey before we even ask if they fit. The shadow side is blind obedience. The liberating side is conscious choice. Instead of blindly following traditions, ask WHY? What is the meaning for you? Where can you create new traditions that have meaning for you? Traditions are the scaffolding that hold us. Maybe it’s time to see if that scaffolding is truly necessary.
PS: To everyone who has helped me achieve my certification as a Transformational Tarot Card reader, I have attained that level! Thank you so much for your faith in me to read your cards!
I use the Tarot cards as a part of my eight-week coaching program to help you transform your life and step into your calling. Spots are opening in January and February if you are interested. Send me a message for more details.