The Mean Reds, Inner Demons, and the Magic Inside You
How to Cope with Negative Self-Talk
Holly Golightly, in Breakfast at Tiffany’s, called it the Mean Reds. She described it as, “...you’re afraid and you sweat like hell, but you don't know what you’re afraid of. Except that something bad is going to happen, only you don’t know what it is…”
Holly described it perfectly. That creeping dread. That nameless fear. But my Mean Reds didn’t just hover—they attacked.
I was walking along, minding my own business, going to water aerobics. Suddenly, they were there: my demons.
First came my “Not good enough” demon. He relentlessly whispers ‘not good enough,’ ‘too old,’ ‘not lovable.’
These demons come for all of us. They have their own messages. My current messages are: I’m not pretty enough, I’m too old to find someone new to love me, I’m not smart enough, I’m lousy in bed, I can’t cook, I’m going to be alone.
OUCH!
But the demons didn’t stop there. No. Out came my Scarcity demon. My Scarcity demon knows my deepest fears: running out of money, losing everything, becoming the Little Match Girl. Old fears from childhood resurfaced like ghosts.
Ghosts from my childhood and past, rising again.
Nothing based on logic. All created in my head—nothing to do with reality.
But painful and gripping and debilitating nonetheless.
How do you cope when attacked by these demons?
For me, exercise is the best way. Change my state. No. Not the state of California. The state in my head. Control my breathing. Two strong in breaths and one long exhale. Repeat three times. Change the music. Put on Dancing Queen by ABBA or something else fun.
But yesterday the demons were relentless. They laughed at my feeble attempts to feel better. The pain was deep.
I shifted my focus to other things (demanding spreadsheets) and eventually the demons went away out of sheer boredom and lack of attention. (Another good counterattack method to keep in my back pocket—focus on something else… don’t follow their demanding train of thought– Like with the Basilisk from the Chamber of Secrets– don’t look it in the eyes or else you get petrified. When the demons strike, they are speaking gibberish. Don’t take it in.)
Does this ever happen to you? You get attacked by inner demons who work hard to tear apart your confidence and sense of self? What do you do when this happens?
The trick isn’t to avoid these attacks—they will come. The trick is knowing how to fight back.
Another method to overcome them might be to visualize the demons as real monsters and slay them, finding their weak spots and vulnerable points. Mine demons went away when I ignored them and focused on my work.
Whatever you try, remember that this too shall pass.
I did notice that I called a friend, and she went on about how false all those statements were,
and the opposites were true. But I couldn’t hear what she had to say. I couldn’t absorb it.
In the end, no matter how many people tell you the demons are lying, the real battle is an inside job. And so is the magic to win it.
That is good to know as well. The answers are all within you. You hold your own magic. Use it.
You are stronger than you know.
What demons do you deal with? What helps you to slay them?
In Summary:
We all have inner demons that attack on occasion. Having some tools to battle these demons will help them to depart sooner. Here are some options:
Exercise
Breath control (two in, one long exhale, 3 times)
Upbeat music
Focus on something else – like gratitude
Visualize the demon as a monster and sly it.
Share your strategies as well.
Photo from San Francisco Designer Showcase House, 2025.