Endings and Beginnings
I've been in my own classroom of change this past year, and the lessons weren't on any syllabus I planned.
It’s the last weekend of summer, although the kids across the street have been back in school for two weeks. It seems cruel. What happened to the tradition of starting after Labor Day?
I've been in my own classroom of change this past year, and the lessons weren't on any syllabus I planned.
This marks the one-year anniversary of my separation and pending divorce. It’s been a year of significant growth and change. A rough roller coaster ride for sure.
Endings bring new beginnings.
The problem is when something ends and you don’t have a clear view of what is beginning. How will life be at this new juncture? How do you want it to be? It’s about AGENCY. Realizing that you HAVE agency. Realizing that I have agency. Now I can make the changes in my life that I desire. But what would those changes be?
I started small, by getting rid of a rug I never liked. A rug I had to look at every day. Out it went. Now I have a rug I love that adds joy to my day and my life. Small changes, big shifts.
Then I get rid of the bed frame I hated. It was so uncomfortable to read in bed which I love to do. Now I'm a bit like a college student with a mattress on the floor, but I'm happy about that! I prefer it that way! (and so does Cooper! It's easier for him to jump onto the bed!)
Small steps taken with intention.
One Step, One Day
It's hard when you don’t know what you want. I had planned my life with a clear view in one direction and then the winds change and I'm looking at a whole new view. For me, I was looking into the dense fog of the unknown and doing what the Hermit card recommends and looking to just the next step forward. No more long term plans right now. The long term plan is to survive the next day.
When I was young, there was a TV show called One Day at a Time. It was about a divorced mom living with her two daughters. They were taking one day at a time. That’s been my motto for the last year.
And the shifts have been great. From married to not. From empty nesters to full house. From navigator to driver.
The Foundation
What has shored up my life are my friends. My community. The support. The love. (The lasagnas).
Well… those Tito’s extra cold dirty double olive martinis have helped!
Friends from all periods of my life, even grammar school, have been super supportive.
In the busyness of life, I took so much for granted. In slowing down, I can see the richness.
It doesn’t have to take a Tower card moment to shake the foundation of your life to see what you have. Slow down and smell the roses.
That’s easy for me to say. When my kids were in school, every day was survival mode.
But taking the time to make connections and build community is where the value is in life. That’s the gold.
If you’re looking for richness in your life start with what you can handle. Say hi to people when you pass. Or even smile. See them. Being seen is the greatest gift in this world. To be witnessed.
Build your community, your tribe.
Endings can feel like loss, but beginnings are quietly waiting. Sometimes in the lasagnas. Sometimes in the smile of a stranger. Sometimes in your own courage to step forward.
So here's my reminder to you (and myself): Build your community, your tribe. Savor the lasagnas. Toast with the martinis. Celebrate the fact that even in the fog, the next step forward is always possible. Because every ending is also a beginning and that's where the richness of life lives.
Celebrate each day.